Understanding People

First of all, hello all! It's been quite a while since I've written in this blog. Honestly I forgot about it for a while.

I'm coming back to you with a post about understanding people. How can we pick up on what others are thinking? what they are feeling? and how to communicate our ideas effectively to others?

Just like anyone else, I've learned with age how to pick up on people. It's such a basic instinct if you let yourself feel the emotions and feelings of others. Silently watching as you notice body language, eye contact, and speech. It's amazing once you decide to hide yourself in an imaginary cabinet and looking forward to the person in front of you. Asking questions in your head such as, "what struggles have they faced today?" "Do they have any demons they are hiding?" "how do they perceive themselves?"
Living with an outlook of love and compassion for others; loving your enemies, now that's hard to do.
But here's why its important: it gives yourself peace.
Although I believe there is a limit, when someone in your life is causing constant pain. It's okay to let them go. When all they do is bring hardship, it's okay to step away. I think many people hold onto relationships or friendships because they love them, they would do anything for them, and believe that love means never giving up. There's a fine line to walk with those statements, and at the end of the day you have to decide for yourself, what is your limit? But more importantly, are you giving more than your receiving in this relationship?
It doesn't make you less of a person, it doesn't make you weak, and it sure as hell doesn't make you a lousy relationship partner or friend! There is only so much you can give before it starts to affect you both physically and emotionally. In other words, it's okay to walk away.


Communicating with others involves understanding others body languages, their facial expressions, and basically nonverbal communication.
Another point is understanding what is behind their words.
Whether their trying to hide their hurt, their disappointment, or their sadness. To maybe hiding their embarrassment, their anxiety, or their impatience. It may take a while but if you train your mind to look into other peoples worlds, you'll be surprised what you can uncover.

The act of understanding people can be hard but with experience, dialing in on the emotions of others, and serving to help others. You can be surprised by how it can enrich your life, and provide a peaceful mind not only for yourself but for the people around you.

Have a great Saturday, stay safe and until next time!

People's Perception Of You

                           A year ago I took part in a TV show called Maine Music Hangouts. I was the executive producer with my dad being the assistant producer for the show. We spent most of our time filming at a quaint coffee shop tucked into a historical town on the coast of Maine. We would record live open mic nights and interviews afterwards. From the time I spent working on the show and interacting with musicians I came across a funny little observation: You can become most anyone if your a good enough actor. 

You see, all the big language I just used was in essence just fancy words for: My cousin had a camcorder, I had an idea, and we made a deal where I would record shows and he'd edit them in his apartment for a small active audience of 100 people. The capacity of the channel reached about 1,000 people, but since it was in a very small town with not so many people watching the local cable show, we really didn't have a big enough audience to capture a few second glances while walking down streets or possible recording deals for the musicians who appeared on the show. But we faked it, and people really responded to it. 

The saying "fake it til you make it" has never been so true in my eyes. No we weren't intentionally trying to fool people or appear as scams, but I find it important that when you start anything professionally: your appearance, the way you talk, the way you hold yourself, is #1 in the books. Performance and diligence comes second. 

What if I walked into that coffee shop with jeans and a stained t-shirt and offered my proposal of a TV show saying something like "I mean, I was kinda thinking about doing a show here. It wouldn't really offer anything big to you guys but I just had a lot of free time so I thought why not. Whaddaya say?" They wouldn't have taken me seriously and they probably wouldn't find any benefit in letting me film there. 

So I found it very interesting that if you present yourself like an executive producer, and hold yourself to those standards, people take you seriously. 

I had people come up to me and treat me in a way that was so different, somebody who had authority and power. I even had a couple musicians come up to me and make it a point to make a lot of conversation with me on the account that I had a basic clip board and the fact I was standing behind a camera with headphones. They asked if I'd take their email, and if I'd look up their work on youtube. 

When really they had no idea I came home, got in my sweats, and watched gossip girl for the next 5 hours. The fact I spent 4 hours with my best friend dressing up in prom dresses and took pictures outside cause we were bored. The fact I was your basic 19 year old girl with boy issues and friend drama. But because I said I was the "executive producer for Maine Music Hangouts" I became someone entirely different.

Being the young 19 year old that I was meant that it took a lot to gain respect from older people though. While my dad and I never had experience in entertainment or film, they would turn to my dad most times to gain information about the show, ask questions, and exchange contacts. Some of them seemed a bit surprised when they realized that my dad was only the assistant and I was in fact the producer. It was a struggle but I learned a lot that helped me grow. My entire experience taught me two lessons that I found were important as I move forward in film, business, as well as life in general:

1. People's perception of you, is determined by you.

2. Don't let age hold you back from accomplishing your dreams

I could of let the idea that they thought my dad was in charge cripple me, and I could of decided to just wait until I'm older to try a project like this again. But then I realized that I made it this far because I was able to carry myself in a way that made others believe in me and that was all the motivation I needed to keep going. 

US Road Trip!

Thats right guys! I may be going on a US Road Trip this summer!

I've wanted to travel forever and I actually think plans will work out! I think this summer is definitely going to be the busiest summer I've ever had.

I will vlog it all on my channel KickinItWithJess for anyone whos interested in our shenanigans:)

I decided to make a rough outline of what I'd like to see:

I'm most excited to see San Francisco, the Pacific Ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge:)

YOU are responsible for your successes and failures in life

Do you ever have those moments in life where you're not sure where your life is going? or maybe your not happy with the direction in which its going? or maybe your just stuck in a rut?
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling 100% at the moment, a think it's due to a little bit of everything. Growing up is scary, finding a career path your happy with and able to stick with is even scarier.

I'm not that type of girl that's happy with just one thing, I've always been indecisive all my life...which does not help in my career choices. Because of this, I've been feeling down about what exactly I want to do - and how to get there.

I searched on youtube some videos and this one seem to pop up:

At first, it was all the stuff I've heard before "you're in control of your destiny" "only you can do it" but as I listened on, he actually made some very good points. One of them being that he ranked how well we are able to take on challenges in our lives. He said that in our way of thinking, sometimes we think as victims. We constantly think up excuses as to why we can't do something. Secondly, above victims we have fighters (those that have conflicting positive and negative thoughts) then we have creators (those who create ways as to how something can be done instead of how something can't) and then we have people who are at peace. So basically, we are all at different levels in our lives, and sometimes when we see a challenge ahead that's blocking us from our goal and we see someone succeeding at it so easily, we may want to give up when in reality it just means that they are at a different level than us. It doesn't mean you can't get there too, you just have to work to get to that point.

Anyways, it's a great speech and would definitely listen to it when you need some encouraging:)

best wishes!

Living in the christmas spirit

Something happened today that was a great example of what the true meaning of Christmas is...and I thought I'd share it:)

Today I went Christmas shopping with my dad, brother, and I on a typical Saturday (Yes, we're crazy for going out the Saturday before Christmas haha...so maybe it wasn't a typical day) and before we left to come home, I ran in to get Starbucks for my dad and I. After returning with both hands full, and trying to open the car door, a nice lady comes up and opened the door for me to get in. I scrambled to say a thank you before sitting down...but I wanted to tell her how nice it was of her to do that. I think Christmas truly brings out the best in people, maybe it's just in my town or maybe this happens everywhere leading up to Christmas, but I've noticed it more and more as I've gotten older. People stop to help one another, pause to open doors, and share smiles more often to brighten someones day.
I think this is what Christmas is all about, to give of yourself and to be thankful for what you have.

Continue to brighten people's days and don't limit your kindness to just one holiday!

Merry Christmas and hope you all have a joyous one:)

Internships and Recording Studios

So today I thought I'd switch a Topic Tuesday for just a general update.

I'm really excited...after many frustrations over college and life in general, I actually feel like I'm getting somewhere. I've researched every type of job from dental hygienists to therapists to film production. Yet I kept denying what I truly love and am passionate about, which is music. So out of the blue I decided to contact various recording studios around the country to ask for internships. It's not like I'm planning to be the next superstar haha, but I've decided I want to be involved in the creation of music. Deciding that this is what I wanted to focus on was scary, because you're all probably thinking the same thing I am, "how is she going to make a living off this?" and because making a decision and sticking with it is scary in itself (for me anyways haha). But after so much thought about different careers, I've exhausted every possibility and I thought, "well, I just need to start somewhere". So that's what I'm planning on doing!

Happy to say that things are actually going somewhere, and I'm excited to see where I will end up:)

Topic Tuesday - Shooting for your dreams, why it's important

Hello Guys and Gals!
Welcome to another Topic Tuesday, today I'm going to talk about dreams (yeah I'm gonna be that cliche girl right now haha)

 but I'm gonna talk about dreams today and not the weird ones you have after you fall asleep (ever been chased by zombies only to have your friend's pigtails start to propel rapidly enough to fly away to safety? .....pshh...me either ;P ) but those dreams you've had since a young age. Whether it's to be a musician, an artist, a director, or a magazine editor. The crazy ones we had at a young age before reality set in and we became adults. What ever happened to those passions we had? It feels like whenever we want to shoot for something entirely out of the blue, there are more people than we can count on our hands who will put our ideas down or tell us we're crazy.

Among the many things I love, I've always loved to travel. Whenever my mom told me she was headed somewhere, whether that was the laundry matt/grocery store/ect I would always want to come along just for the car ride. For family vacations I'd always bring my video camera to narrate the whole experience. It's just something about seeing different scenery, experiencing new places, and different people that has always gotten me excited.

So I decided I would save up to travel to Europe on a group tour, I researched and researched for a year straight to figure out how I was going to travel and I landed on a group tour that seemed to fit everything I was looking for. Although, I had people at work telling me not to go and that it was dangerous, that it was a crazy idea to travel by myself. While Italy is 15% safer to walk alone at night than the US and 2 times more police officers. Not to mention violent crime is 7 times worse in the US. Of course no matter where you are there will be crime and you always need to keep an eye out, but it doesn't mean you should stay in your house and only dream to visit these places. Sometimes I think people are more afraid of the unknown than anything else.
So what I'm try to say is that there will be people who will bring you down, who will say something is impossible until you MAKE it possible! This goes for any idea you may have, whether that's to travel, or a business plan you may have, or anything that's outside the box.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi  

One guy I always love talking about is Shay Carl of the Shaytards (I know crazy name haha) but basically this guy filmed videos of his kids and posted them to Youtube.

 They began to get popular and Shay decided to collaborate with other Youtubers to make a media company called Maker Studio in California.  In the span of 5 years he quit his job as a granite installer and began to do Youtube full time. His family wasn't doing well financially, but he gave it a faithful try because he loved doing Youtube. But here's the best part, this normal, humble, hilarious family received 5 million when Disney (that's right, Disney) bought Maker Studios. Now the family lives in Utah and after years of struggling they have finally made it to the point where it's no longer an issue, and they can spend the many years ahead enjoying their kids and their family.

(if you're interested in learning more about this family, you can go HERE)

Although this is an incredible story, you may be thinking, "This is a one in a million shot, this would never happen to me" to be financially sound AND live out your dreams can be a struggle, but it's not impossible. It's just a choice of never giving up, and years of hard work. 

Sometimes people will choose to take that lower wage in order to do what they love every single day. It's all about being happy, and if you're going to be doing your job every single day of the week, it better be what you love and it better be something that makes you happy right? and if you are able to make a generous income from it then thats a plus too!

So my main message today is: don't be afraid to do the impossible! go for your dreams no matter how crazy they may seem, who knows you may be surprised what perseverance can do:)

Question of the day: what have you done today to reach a goal you have for the future?

Bonus! This is a great inspirational video! check it out if your interested:)